confession

I have a huge fat crush on David Boreanaz. It's ridiculous because he's played some white trash roles (he was a vampire on buffy. oh gosh...) i don't know what it is. those brown eyes i guess. love, love, love... -R

lately...

lately I've been thinking a lot about my worth, about my testimony, my purpose. lately i've started up sewing again. lately it seems there aren't enough hours in the day. lately i haven't felt like i've accomplished much in my life, which lately i've been aiming to change. lately i haven't been trying like i know i can. lately i've been falling in love with some of God's most precious souls, and lately they've been changing my life for the better. lately i've thought about all those with whom i've lost contact, and how time takes so much from us. i've been thinking about my darling parents and how much they mean to me. lately i've been striving to discover how i can recieve inspiration more frequently in my life. lately i've made a few incredible friends whom i know were placed in my life for a purpose, and vise versa. lately i've been empty of learning and can't wait to get back to school. lately i've wanted to visit boston, greece, and england. i haven't exercised much lately, but i've been meaning to get back at it. lately i've been thinking about what i really want for my marriage, my family, my future. lately my second neice, Isabelle, was born, and i've been yearning to hold her. lately i've been working on gratitude, patience, and unconditional love for all. lately i've been obsessed with the home fabric store, the tj maxx home decor section, hidden boutiques downtown, and pier one. lately i've decided to grow my hair out for the first time in years. loving it. lately i've realized how void of tragedy, heartache, suffering, and want my life is. and lately i've thanked God for that. lately i've been pouring my heart out on my knees each night. lately i've been striving for Godly sorrow to rule my actions and thoughts. lately i've decided to reprioritize my life. lately i've discovered some beautiful, tranquilic artists, and lately my ears can't get enough of them. lately i've felt like i could have been a screen writer in another life. lately i've made the goal to rid myself of selfish wants and desires. i've decided to stop mimicking the styles of others and do something because its what i like. i haven't blogged much lately, but i'm hopeful for a change. i've been so excited for the holidays lately, i've even started some pie experimentation. i've decided to expand and develop my talents lately. lately i've been growing closer to the siblings, working eight to six every weekday, loving my weekends off, and going weeks without shaving my legs. lately i've been indulging in the phenomenal fall weather, and soaking in this short time i have to live life stress free. thats all for now doves. love, love, love... -R

perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another...

as N so graciously brought to my attention today, I haven't blogged in ages... Let me get you all up to speed on the current events my highly exciting life. This new semester has been great so far. I'm learning french! can you believe it? and yes, it is JUST as hard as everyone says it is. Hate going to school in the summer, but thus far rexburg has shown no signs that it is really even summer at all, so i haven't felt like i've missed out on too much. I long for summer nights filled with ultimate frisbee and shoe kicking contests while swinging on swings, but that will just have to wait til august i suppose. i can hardly believe its already june. halfway through another year of my life, and i have little to show for it. time is the king of theives, its true. wish there was someway to make it all stop, just so i could see my life as it is. know what i need to change and what i want to do differently. unfortunately life is never that simple. its raining outside, love it. and love the grass, the overcast sky, and the eucalyptus blossoms. i've fallen asleep at least twice while typing this. guess thats all for now doves. love, love, love -R

for my exploring photography class our latest photo assignment is called "bucket list" and to start it off, i figured i may as well type mine up as sort of a tangible reference. so, here goes.

- design my own house
- make a scientific discovery/invent something
- learn how to hang glide
- throw a kegger (of sorts)
- drive the entire coast of the united states
- drive route 66 in a 1960's cherry red convertible
- bungee jump off of victoria falls in Africa
- go without speaking for an entire day
- become a street vendor in spain for a minimum of three years, selling my own creations
- get my pilot's license
- climb a mountain
- go to a Stevie Wonder concert and shake his hand
- become bilingual at least
- dance in a field of daisies with the man of my dreams to "You Make Me Feel So Young" by Frank Sinatra
- create a charity
- write a novel or play
- meet a child prodigy (while still in college)
- ride on a motorcycle in formal attire

This is a post that i will most definitely be adding to over the years as i think of more things, and as i accomplish the ones already here. love, love, love -R

new obsession

Was at bath and body earlier this week and have finally found what i want to smell like this summer. ps CO Biglow is my new fav. period. if you get a chance, find a b&b and check all these scents out. splendid!!



This is the perfume for their new line "Lemon" so tasty. i want the body wash and lotion to match.



They also have three new scents for men. i would fall for any guy who smelled like any of the three new scents. now to find a guy who's willing to go into a b&b to buy cologne...



this stuff feels great and is great for the lips. plus has a minty scent so you never have to worry about bad breath if you unexpectedly have to kiss someone handsome :D

Thats all for now doves. love, love, love. -R

a hand to hold

Spring has surely come again, and whisked me off to a world of romance. something about this season makes my hands, arms, heart feel empty and longing. it must be the rain to make me want to share an umbrella with someone charming, or the chilly breezes that make me wish i had a strong pair of arms wrapped around me. what it is about spring i may never know. a toast to a lonely soul, anyone? love, love, love... -R

can't wait for glee to return :D

Have a feeling this season is going to be killer. love it! -R

learing to let go, such a hard lesson to be learned

Today i found myself on facebook (which kills me to say) but nonetheless i was there, and started listening to the video/audio postings of Bonnevaires songs. There i sat in my living room, listening to Tis Winter Now, reciting the lyrics to my roommate. I wept as a spoke them to her, and she listened with an expression of indifference toward the music and the meaning. I have found that this is the single downfall to being a member of this incredible choir. Trying to make others understand the immense, significant, substantial impact that it has made on your life. I'm sure all Bonnevaire alumni and current participants reading this can attest to that. Yet still we will all go on trying to explain, trying desperately to help all that we come in contact with to understand the exceptional value with which those experiences are held within our souls. It has meant so much to me. Its frustrating that all words to describe it are such an understatement. I have always been one to struggle with change, and as i strive to move on, to join new choirs and meet new people, it doesn't hold a candle to the songs i have sung with the people i have sung them with. I know that i must continue my journey, yet i believe beyond any doubt that the places i have yet to go will be greatly influenced by the places i have come from. it is my silent prayer that the things i cherished in my past shall be the things i enjoy in eternity. I thank God every time i think of how blessed i have been. So blessed. There are things that are more difficult to let go of than others, but knowing that they will never truly be lost gives me faith to release my grip, however slowly i may be inclined. and Lord, please let me regain my grasp, in time. Someday... someday. -R

New Fave

the sock monkey commercial for the new kia SUV. great because it has a sock monkey in it, great song playing during the commercial. how you like me now by the heavy. you are psychotic if listening to it doesn't make you want to dance like bill cosby. -R

March came in like a lamb

i love all seasons, but something about spring brings out the best in me. its odd, because spring in idaho is hideous, but i've grown to love it... i love how on sunny days the light reflects off of the snow to make everything seem brighter. i can't drive past a puddle and not go splashing through it. the breeze that cools down my neck as i walk up to the ricks with the sun beating down is invigorating. wearing shades in the summer is great, but i it feel on top of the world when i'm sporting flips and shades on a chilly spring day. makes me feel like a true idaho gal. spring makes me want to go out and buy cute colorful summer dresses and strappy sandals. i wonder why the inventor of the calender didn't make spring the beginning of the year. to me, it just makes sense. spring inspires, motivates, is cheery, its the perfect start to a new year. late winter months are the dreariest time of year. why would anyone choose those months to represent new beginnings? spring has inspired me to be more consistent, reliable, committed to my goals, to get my hair cut... i actually have a desire to be outside, which is a first since my time here in rexburg. yesterday in my religion class my teacher quoted boyd k packer, "the idle mind is the devil's workshop". i really took this to heart, and i've decided to start some new hobbies. i want to make a kite and fly it (like on mary poppins) i want to be outside more than i am inside. its easier to think intelligent thoughts when one has intelligent things to look at. i miss swinging... closing my eyes as i pump my legs, feeling like i'm soaring. swings were made for spring, i'm almost sure of it. spring makes me miss my lovely bonnevaires. going on tour, large ensemble, laughing on the bus with the windows rolled down. such an incredible miracle that such a short span of time can have such a lasting impact. but i suppose such is life, a mere breath of air in the enormous spectrum of eternity. but oh how essential a breath it is... love, love, love -R

i miss home and i miss you...

robert, spencer, lizzie, rachel, mommy and dad, shari, mares, sunshine, pine basin, neisah, jackson hole, bonnevaires, voice lessons, emilio my junky justy... miss you all

funny

most the time, things are either funny or not funny. but there are a few things in life that make any situation at any time hilarious.
-little kids swearing
-farting
-someone getting injured
-speech impediments
-when someone misquotes a cliche, song, or quote
-dentures falling out
-people running in to sliding glass doors
-birds pooping on people
-any form of irony
-foreign people (especially asians)
-being totally sarcastic with someone and them thinking you are being literal
-terrible dancers
-bad kissers making in public
-mispronunciations
-people making complete dunces of themselves and thinking they are being cool/funny
-people running downhill and not being able to stop themselves
-glasses that magnify people's eyes
-toilet paper stuck to shoes/ stuck in pants
-skirts tucked into underwear
-someone getting de-pantsed
-wardrobe malfunctions
-wretched singers who think they are something great
-ridiculous bluntness
-wife beaters with ketchup stains
-wedgies
-man boobs
-turrets
-toupees
-people who are white trash

Splendid

Today i'm blogging from my Arch 100 class, which is wretched. Have i told you all that i want to be an architect? I do. Someone once told me that i've found my passion, and i want to believe that's true. The great thing about passions is that they are totally up to you. You get to be passionate about whatever you want. Here are a few of my passions:
-graham crackers and milk
-vanilla pudding
-houses (how they look, how they make you feel, everything about them. i've spent days just driving up on the hill to look at the beautiful designs. I think houses are the owners visual form of happiness, what they want in life. for me i want windows, gardens, a library, and sweeping staircases)
-Charlotte Russe
-Shoes (its more like a religion than a passion, actually)
-Gossip Girl
-my little sisters
-architecture
-chaco's (mostly just the tan line they give me on my feet in the summer)
-pine basin summer camp
-popsicles
-audrey hepburn
-traveling
-friendships (the ones that you know will last forever)
A passion is a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire. i like that definition. a friend of mine once told me that he didn't think he had a passion, but i would have to disagree. A passion can just be something that you are fond of, or enthusiastic about. Passions are the driving force of life. If you are sure that you don't have a passion, think again, and ask yourself what you are living for. the answer to that question is your passion, and i'd be willing to bet that there are multiple answers to that question for everyone. Thinking on this got me thinking about the value of life, and how short it is. i've decided that i'm going to start living by my passions. not to say that i am going to let them skew my sense of right or wrong, but i want to do things because thats what i want to learn more about, or because its something that i want to experience before i die. that being said, i have decided to move to new york in the fall. Its something that i've been thinking about doing for about a year, and lately i can't help but ask myself why i haven't done so already. the tragic thing is that i don't have an answer to that question. i've decided i don't need an answer, i'm simply going to do it. no looking back, no regrets, i'm blindly leaping into the great unknown! September 2010: new york here i come!

music: the purest form of expression

it's hard to find the right words to describe my deep appreciation for music. there are days when i come home from a hard day, turn on the tunes and its like none of it ever happened, and i'm just caught in a world of thoughts, emotions, bits and snips of beautiful things, all arranged with music. There are other times when i'll be driving in the car, a song will come on the radio and i'll be transported to another time, a time when i had heard the song before, with people i loved or despised. Music is a portal to the past. A simple melody can bring me to tears, lift my spirits, make me smile, feel fearless, beautiful or thoughtful. such a strange, enchanting, phenomena that i'm not sure i'll ever come to fully understand. I've compiled a list of bands that i am super obsessed witt right now.

BANDS WHICH I LOVE (in no particular order)
-Doves. this urban indie-rock band is a new fave. i was introduced to them through the 500 days of summer soundtrack, and am officially addicted. Some favorite songs or theirs include there goes the fear, the great denier, and jetstream.
-A change of pace. careful with this one, every once in a while they'll 'spice' it up with vulgarity, but for the most part very soulful music. fave songs include sell out, a vague memory, home is where the heart is, and i wanna be your rock and roll.
-Company of thieves. think of all the best things of every indie band ever, and you have company of thieves. the female vocalist is different (which i LOVE) she sounds a bit like regina spektor. favorite tunes include even in the dark, pressure, new letters, fire song (acoustic) in passing, and around the block. but if you were to purchase the entire album, i promise you wouldn't regret it, its an absolute jewel.
-The Decemberists. great band! the perfect combo of chill and alternative rock. the lead vocalist has an interesting voice, which makes them oh-so easy to listen to. here i dreamt i was an architect is an amazing song of theirs. take a good listen to the lyrics, they are beautiful...
-The feeling. this band is just one of the many british bands that i am totally obsessed with right now. these guys are much like the popular british band mcfly, if you know who they are. if you like mcfly, you'll love the feeling. good songs are blue piccadilly, rose, and love it when you call.
-Fiest. this woman is a genius, plain and simple. love her love her love her. some good ones of hers are this is how my heart behaves, mushaboom, and 1234.
-Flogging molly. if you love punk music, and irish accents, flogging molly is the band for you. i first heard them on the ps i love you soundtrack, but since then have acquired all their stuff. can't get enough of them! i like every dog has his day, if i ever leave this world alive, along with many others.
-Imogen heap. her genius is insurmountable. some of the most thought provoking lyrics i've ever heard. its hard to place her in a specific genre, its like she's produced a new crazy good new genre of music. i really like goodnight and go, headlock, closing in, and the walk.
-Igrid michaelson. i first heard her in old navy. love all her music. the entire album girls and boys is phenomenal. i highly recommend ingrid for getting over guys. she's pinpointed the feelings pretty perfectly.
-Jack Savoretti. I don't think i've ever fallen in love with someone so quickly-- ever! but i do love jack... he's like the british-slighgtly-better version of john mayer. some songs i love of his are dr. frankenstien, dreamers, between the minds, and chemical courage. (but the more i listen, the more i LOVE!)
-Jamie scott and the town. this guy is alot like jack, but with more piano than guitar. i adore this band, can't get enough of them. :D some super great songs of theirs are changes, runaway train, and love song to remember.
-Kalai. this man has changed my life. i've seen him live twice, and one cannot fully appreciate his genius until seeing him live. he is hysterical for one, and is the most talented guitar/vocalist i've ever seen. some of his greatest are patience lies, strong ties, in the back of my mind, fear not the wild things, and j dog and the hand. it was seriously painstaking for me to narrow down all my favorite songs of his to that small of a list. every song is incredible. oh, and his lyrics are SICK.
-Landon pigg. not only is he gorgeous, but i really do love all his music. he has an adorable way of creating cheesy analogies and transforming them into incredble songs. he is worth a listening to. give him a shot. keep looking up, falling in love at a coffee shop, can't let go, great companion, and magnetism are a few of the faves for me.
-Newton faulkner. i haven't listened to him much yet, but i already love him. there a song he sings that i love, its called dream catch me. it's from a movie but i can't figure out which one. if you figure it out, let me know!!!
-The script. another irish band i'm in love with. my good friend keiton showed them to me. i like their songs man who can't be moved, break even, and lose yourself. (lose yourself is actually the song by eminem, but they re-did it. its waaay better than eminem's. just sayin)
-Mumm-ra. another band i discovered via 500 days of summer. she's got you high is one of their best songs.
-Schuyler fisk. gorgeous voice, gorgeous guitar. she's like a really high class night club singer. i mean that in the absolute best way possible. listen to waking life by her. beautiful, nostalgic melody.
-Sigur Ros. they're a scandinavian band. cna't understand a lick of their lyrics (they're in danish) but i can't stop listening to them! all their music is so full of emotion, tis almost mesmerizing. love it. listen to hoppipolla, takk..., and glosoli. all great songs
-The smiths. four words for this band. greatest eighties band ever. i can't believe i've lived my life for so long without them. i love there is a light that never goes out, and let me let me let me get what i want.
-Snow patrol. for a long time i thought this band was waaay overrated, but lately i've been listening to them like crazy! they really are a way talented band. some of my favorites of theirs are shut your eyes, open your eyes, how to be dead, and you could be happy
-The temper trap. introduced to me courtesy of 500 days of summer. if i were you, i would go buy that soundtrack right now. i love every single song on that CD. listen to sweet disposition by the temper trap.
-You me at six. a little bit like metro station, but so much cooler, and a lot less trashy. they're a british band, which i love. (for some reason bands from foreign counrties make their music so much cooler) the truth is a terrible thing, gossip, call that a comeback, and jealous minds think alike are definitely worth a listen.

There are so many more, but its late. sleep sweet world.

who knew turning over leaves could be so hard?

being at college is the turning over of a new leaf. It is the opportunity for new beginnings, and for changing all those wretched habits that you had in high school that you don't want to carry with you. thus far in my college experience i have done no turning over of leaves, and as for habits-- i feel like i've gained far worse ones than i ever had in high school. but this past week i've begun to realize how my living style has secluded me from any social happenings whatsoever. Each person's personality has qualities that either fit them in the introvert or the extrovert categories. An introvert being a person who 'charges' their batteries in the seclusion of their own home, or just by themselves in a quiet place. An extrovert, as you can probably guess, is just the opposite. The extrovert has more energy and is revived in large groups, more specifically with people of whom they are well associated. Anyone who has spent any time with me at all could easily tell you that i am the latter. i enjoy being and extrovert, and revel in spending time with lots of good friends all at once. I hope that none of you who may be reading this will take offense when i say that i am in need of a larger social circle. i'm not currently participating in any extra-cirricular groups, which as my dear mother so loves to remind me, is a portion of the problem. but after being so 'anti-social' for so long, its really hard to break free of that. being a hermit is easy, and i always get my school work done, but my personality's "batteries" are in dire need of charging. I don't want to simply invite over my FHE brothers (don't read me wromg, they are all really great guys) but as i said before, i want my horizons broadened. i want to meet new people and have friends outside of my apartment. i want to go out and do things on the weekends, take pictures and create inside jokes. i want the true college experience. i want to flirt, play, run, smile, try new things, ask questions, study harder, love more freely, let go of inhibitions, learn to paint, discover new music, make my own music, write poetry, have a best friend, go puddle splashing, wake up earlier, go to bed earlier, study my scriptures more diligently, have more faith in the lord, take more care to show those i love that i love them, become more like Christ, serve people, learn how to bake homemade bagels, be more active, spend less time worrying about my future and more time enjoying the present, stop holding silly grudges, start bringing others up, become a better friend, see god's hand in my life, plant flowers in the spring, laugh at myself, grow out my hair, go for a walk with no destination in mind, go swinging, speak kinder words, gain a greater relationship with Christ, care less about physical appearances, care more about the love a person has in their heart, i want to learn a second language, go exploring, discover new parts of myself...

today was not a fairy tale, taylor swift

today officially sucked. i'm in need of a little lift, a laugh. and its in times like these that i gain a greater appreciation for sports pictures. there are few sports pictures posted in any newspaper or magazine i've seen where the athlete is exhibiting their perfect dimples or their winning smile. however, in my vast experience of viewing sports photos, i have seen incredible athletes looking like total retards. for the sake of those of you who have never taken time to truly appreciate the art of sports photography, i'll take the liberty of posting some especially hysterical ones for you.


does this one really even need a caption? there is one word for this pic: SICK.


alright, whoever edited this photo, was a genius. the perspective is unmatchable. i couldn't have done better myself. oh, and don't you just love how his tongue is hanging out all crazy?


so i didn't know you could play sports that soon after having your wisdom teeth out. apparently i was wrong.


i get the feeling this guy is either possessed, or he has seriously mistaken the basketball for a crystal ball.


I had no idea asians could tango like that. i feel the passion, i really do.


as in so many other aspects of life, timing is everything. nailed it!


its a new party game! kind of like pin the tail on the donkey, but less hazardous to children's vital body parts.


*run, run, run, run, sparkle! sparkle!*


what do you think was going through the poor white guys' head at this point? my best guess is "Shaquile O'neal, get the eff off of me."


i like this guy's strategy: i'm going to get the guy to jump up really high in the air with me, while neither of us have the ball, and then i'm going to straight-arm punch him."


this is a habit that no one wants to get caught doing on camera. i wonder if it gets him pumped up or...?

I was absolutely right. some ridiculously hilarious sports photos were just what i needed.

I'm a blogger now!

The idea for this blog came from my friend and colleague neisah satterfield. the girl is absolute genius, and i can't do anything without the example of someone else before me, so here i am: a conceited blogger. blogs are, by the way, one of the strangest inventions i think i've ever encountered. but you know what is even more ridiculous than blogging? facebook. yes, i have finally come out and said it. facebook is the leech of every college student's precious time. not only that, but we rely on it for everything. if you want to get the news out about anything and everything, post it on facebook. while common belief is that this commodity is a good thing, that is a fallacy. nothing is trashier than make-ups and break-ups available for all 520 of your facebook friends (347 of them whom you've never said a word to in your life) to see. my slightly obnoxious yet hysterical roomies love to screw around with my facebook. i would like to lay any of your oh-so gullible minds to rest by saying that if my facebook ever says i am engaged, pregnant, or looking for a dealer, it was probably my roomies. yet still every time the ridiculous event occurs, i get numberless comments about how everyone wants an announcement, or asking if i need an intervention. Let me clear the air by saying this: i am not so tacky or tactless as to post any such thing on facebook in a serious manner. please, please, have the decency to not send me a friend request if you do not share my sense of humor, or my circle of friends for that matter. Which brings me to my next facebook frustration: when people that you don't know add you as a friend. here is the unspoken rule about that one, and you can deny it all you want but it is true: if an attractive guy that i don't know sends me a friend request, i accept him, not questions asked. same goes for any other person who gets a friend request from a hottie of the opposite sex. however: if a person of the opposite sex who is fugly requests you, one word: IGNORE. Actually that is slightly untrue, most of us accept anyone and everyone because, as a friend of mine once said: facebook friends are like pokemon cards. the more you have the cooler you are. the downside to that one is that after you've accepted someone, you'll never stop hearing the last of their achievements as cyber-zoo keepers and virtual farmers. honestly? go buy a fish! learn how to use a remote control (not that i am justifying being a couch potato over having your own world on facebook, but at least a remote is tangible). Somehow facebook has convinced everyone that if your cornstalk grows taller than all your friends', you become king of something. wrong. get up off your ars and find a hobby.